"Except that Pride & Prejudice or CatCF didn't come out until several years after PotC, so they weren't Elizabeth Bennet or Willy Wonka yet. You could say Edward Scissorhands for Johnny." --> Still funny.
I want a closed casket funeral. However, towards the end of the service, please have the organist play "Pop goes the weasel" over and over until everyone in attendance is staring at my coffin with silent, horrified anticipation.