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DOUGLAS: Not come across The Travelling Lemon, Martin, in all your ‘professional experience’? Well, Player One strolls through a full passenger cabin, chatting to the adoring public of this or that topic of interest and, as he goes, he casually secretes – somewhere where it can still be clearly seen – a lemon, or other citrus fruit as mutually agreed by the players and referees before match play commences, but I’m a traditionalist and favour a lemon.

“You can’t speak to me like that. I’m the captain!” Captain Crieff aka Benedict Cumberbatch after a passenger makes him cry. Lol

Surprising rice. It still bugs me that we don't know what is in it. How can I make it if I am constantly worrying if I've got it right or not.