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""Always be positive!" *Trips down stairs* Me: Woo, I got down those stairs fast!"

"The little kid next door just opened his window and yelled,"what is 27 plus 4?"and I yelled back, "its 31" and he said,"Thank you god". I'm dying!"

""I only hang out with guys because they never start drama." Please read a history textbook."

"*See's crush dab* Me: *sigh* Why are the pretty ones always stupid?" "

Just bumped into mannequin & said "Sorry". Then said "Oh I thought you were a person". Then realized I was still speaking to a mannequin

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"I just snuck in the kitchen and ate the whole pumpkin pie. I am going to tell my family it fell on the floor. Last year I didn't get any..I haven't forgot. No regrets"