Never ever be apologetic for your enthusiasm. If people don't like it? They needn't look. You weren't put here to please the world. Please yourself. Those who do understand you, will magically appear. Fact.
You're so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that made you more wise, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this