Damage from having a narcissistic parent is embedded in childhood & is carried into adulthood. The adult child ends up feeling very alone in the world, without a clue as to who they really are. They are so used to being told what to do (or not do), that they end up interacting with others as they did with their narcissistic parent. This is why many end up in personal relationships with a narcissist. "It's the devil you know".
As children of narcissists, we pick up behaviors, traits & even sayings from our narcissistic parent. This is almost unavoidable & is due to the environment we grew up in. Please know that this does not mean you are narcissistic. When I realized that I was doing or saying things similar to my mother, it infuriated me! I knew this was something I had to change! I focused & changed by "catching" or "hearing" myself. I consciously chose different words & behaviors.
Going no contact with your narcissistic parent is a personal choice. No one can make the decision for you. You must do what is best for you. Many people will not understand this decision & try to guilt you into going back into the dysfunction. You have nothing to feel guilty for because you did nothing wrong. It is not your fault. They have not experienced the pain & suffering of having a narcissistic parent & simply cannot understand.
For all of you that are mothers, enjoy your day! Don't allow others or even the thoughts of others to spoil it for you. Know you are breaking the dysfunctional cycle. Enjoy your kids & the unconditional loving bond that you share with them.
Children of narcissists can be overly sensitive to criticism, due to the abuse from their parent. Be careful not to assume that others are treating you as your parent did, simply because that is what you're used to.
A narcissistic parent can be engulfing, abandoning, or even flip-flop back & forth. They may eventually give you the 'silent treatment' when you don't give them what they want. This is your punishment for not listening to them. It is also used to make you feel guilty, so that you will break down & contact them. Don't feel guilty. You haven't done anything wrong! Instead, use this time wisely & focus on your healing!
Not letting go of the anger towards your narcissistic parent is harmful to you. Have you ever touched something that you didn't realize was hot? You may have burned your arm, hand or fingers. It didn't feel good did it? Did you reach out & touch it again? Of course you didn't, it hurt! Think of your anger towards your parent in the same way. By holding onto your anger, you are not only touching the hot item, you are picking it up & squeezing it.