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I have a type and apparently it's men who don't want to date me. @Danielle Whalon I'm sorry that this made me think of you. I give you permission to beat me up.

Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news, they found your head!

If his marriage 'was over' long before he met you, then how come he was still married and living with his wife? Truth: He's a cheater and you're a 'ho. Good luck to you both.