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Before the cross, the bible says "forgive so that you will be forgiven"...after the cross it's "forgive AS your Heavenly Father has forgiven you" We are now free to forgive, not as a threat, it's all about Love!
1 Peter 3:9 "Do not pay back injury for injury or insult for insult. Instead, repay with a blessing, for you were called to this course, so that you might inherit a blessing." Good reminder and so tough sometimes.