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'Yes...I'm filing that right now...in my 'No Fucks Given' folder.'

'Yes...I'm filing that right now...in my 'No Fucks Given' folder.'

I love you so much. Except when you snore and then I just want to punch you in the face.

I love you so much. Except when you snore and then I just want to punch you in the face.

Funny Wedding Ecard: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who cant take care of himself.

Funny Wedding Ecard: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who cant take care of himself.

Dear Face Wash Commercials, Nobody actually splashes their face with water like that. Sincerely, my bathroom is sopping wet now.

Dear Face Wash Commercials, Nobody actually splashes their face with water like that. Sincerely, my bathroom is sopping wet now.

.This is such a battle for date night....hahahaha!

.This is such a battle for date night....hahahaha!

I tried to login on my iPad. Turns out it was an Etch-a-Sketch and I don't own an iPad. Also, I'm out of vodka.

I tried to login on my iPad. Turns out it was an Etch-a-Sketch and I don't own an iPad. Also, I'm out of vodka.

Funny Cry for Help Ecard: Turns out all my Pinterest clothes only look good on those skinny hookers in the pictures. Let's go get a cookie.

Funny Cry for Help Ecard: Turns out all my Pinterest clothes only look good on those skinny hookers in the pictures. Let's go get a cookie.

I don't want any of my hard-earned money going to that whore in FL :/

I don't want any of my hard-earned money going to that whore in FL :/

Funny Thanksgiving Ecard: Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.

Funny Thanksgiving Ecard: Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.

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