Russ, A year has passed since you went away. It feels strange to think about it because there is much I don't remember in the days leading up to your death and the months since. There is a certain numbness that comes with grief. Jan says it's a protective shield from the shock. It is a good thing because the intensity of the emotional pain is enough to make a heart stop beating. Or cause the mind to spin off into oblivion. It just hurts too damn much to bear without that shock-shield.
So very true. Vulnerability makes pain so physically felt it can break you and yet happiness so pure there is no comparison. I wouldn't trade my sensitive nature for anything. It makes you appreciate GOOD people and events in life more deeply.