First of all: Learn to really love yourself! Embrace all your parts good and bad.Then you can love someone else in a healthy way without being possessive. You will be able to love freely and your broken self will be healed before you give your love away. You have made your own solid ground to stand on. That is the best gift you can give to your partner.
My hands and feet are bound, but not by rope. No, I've done something terribly bad; I deserve what they bound me with. I deserve the sting of the sharp metal. I deserve the immobility of the barb wire twisted around my hands and feet.