Seriously?? So I'm at Wal-mart buying a bag of dog food. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog. "I'm starting the dog food diet again. I probably shouldn't because ended up in the hospital last time. I lost 50 pounds before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.'! told her that it was essentially a perfect diet. "All you do is load your pockets with food nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well, and I am going to try it again." (I should add that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story this chick asked if I ended up in ICU because the dog food poisoned me. I told her, "no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me." I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. - iFunny
Related searches
V platypus426 This one time I was at a street festival hosted by my Uni and there was a guy doing card tricks. I was watching him When I noticed he dropped a card. (7 of spades) I quickly pu my shoe in it and then bent down to act like I was tying my shoe. He then asks for a volunteer so I raise my hand. He asks me to say the name of a card at random so I say “7 of spades" he does his trick that I guess was supposed to make it come on top. He holds up the Ace of Hearts and says "is this your card?" And I hold up the card and said ”no but this is” and the crowd LOST IT. I handed the card back to the magician and walked away. Later he comes up to me and asks me how I did it. I looked him in the eye, smiled and said "magicians never reveal their secrets” and walked away. - iFunny
