Pinterest • The world’s catalogue of ideas

"I work in an ER and just witnessed the craziest thing! Doctor called time of death on a code blue patient and as we start cleaning up, the monitor starts picking up a heartbeat! She fucking survived! "

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steven universe

OKAY, so I used the Cartoon Network app to see the new Steven Universe episode. This WILL 99.9% HAPPEN IF YOU ARE A FANGIRL/FANBOY. Be prepared for Sugar's Feels Bomb!

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"Men socialize by insulting each other, but they don't mean it. Women socialize by complementing each other, but they don't mean it either."

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"I don't want a boyfriend until after I finish college. They're too time-consuming and stressful. I'd rather get good grades. A's before Baes"

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"When I was in the 6th grade my teacher scolded me for drawing on myself and others. "You'll never earn a living with that!" Now I'm a tattoo artist. #IDFWY"

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Oh my gosh, the guy who wrote this is brilliant. Osteoporosis is a medical condition where your bones get brittle and weak. So basically, this guy is saying "bones are petite" DYING.

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"Today, I saw a child, and my traitor brain thought "aww, cute." So I watched some supernanny reruns until my sanity returned. Not today, uterus."

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"I'm only 4'8 so when I'm mad at my husband he puts all the good stuff on the top shelf so I have to talk to him."

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"My first year of college I took a drawing class and my teacher said "I never tell people this but you should go into fine art your work is amazing" I found out she's a famous artist should've listened"

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"When does the actual living start? I'm so sick of just getting by. I feel like I'm being thrown through life from one pending disaster to another. "

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