aka...living a lie. Only the true narcissist hates the truth. No normal, rational person can ignore the truth. Listen to the way people frame conversations and you'll figure it out. It may take awhile to put the pieces together, but never doubt your gut. There are some guys in this world who will invent bullcrap about their exes in order to look more appealing. (And women will do this too, guys! Their act is usually the damsel in distress, battered woman act.) Avoid! Period.
Get strong! Be real & for gods sake stop all your lies & trying to be in our lives!! Your days of being anything at all to us ( especially him) is over! Move on! Get a hobby, a real job, an education & your OWN man!!
I know the real you.. the heartless you.. the you that cares about no one but himself, the you that can lie so easily when it benefits you. You.. are the fakest, I hope your next victim isn't too blind to see it.
"Sometimes, people who cannot find any way to resolve a problem with someone else are tempted to eliminate the problem by eliminating the other person. ... [T]his is not an act of freedom but an act of despair and great ignorance; it will not bring freedom or peace." ~Thich Nhat Hanh