Do you notice that when you simply observe the narcissist's behavior & words - that you're able to clearly see the disorder without reacting to it? It was a huge point in my recovery when I could categorize which defense mechanism he was using at what point. It let me see the craziness, firsthand without having ANY emotional stake or reaction in how severe & ever present his disorder was / is. They can't hide it. They think they are. It's called masking and faking it.