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Me: "Honey, its really muggy out today." Wife: "I swear to god if I go outside and all of our mugs are on the lawn, I'm leaving you." Me:*sips coffee from bowl*

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Just ran up behind my wife, grabbed her boobs and yelled, ""Merry Titmas!!" She immediately turned around, whacked me in the nuts and yelled, "Jingle Balls!!" Touche woman. I had it coming.

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