Enjoying alone time is an act of self-love / self-acceptance. Jealousy, and other states of mind that make us doubt the love of others, comes from the fear that "maybe I'm not worthy of love". If you can love yourself, being alone loses its stigma, and for some, is quite restorative.
And the thing you have to understand about her is she'll kill what she desperately wants, out of fear of the pain. Because somewhere along the way someone convinced her she didn't deserve it. So she destroys, telling herself holding the knife hurts less. - I wish I could make you see that you're worth it, I feel like this is what you did. Either that, or you lied to me because you wanted someone else more. I guess I'll just have to take your word for it, because all I asked for was honesty.