Narcs flip between ‘Poor Me’ and ‘The Intimidator’. Poor Me gets sympathy and drains power from her listeners. The Intimidator crushes the other person psychically, verbally or physically. And the narcs who feed on others for power can flip between the two.
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Don't be fooled between character and an act. A person who is truly good-hearted will be kind to everyone, not just the people they stand to gain something from. A person who is truly kind will feel remorse for causing pain, and they will try to make it right.