Feeling rejected is not much different from actual pain. Studies of MRI scans have shown that the same areas of the brain that respond to physical pain also react to being hurt by rejection. As far as your brain is concerned, a broken heart is no different than a broken arm.
Abandonment creates an emotional crisis of such intensity and duration that it mimics a full blown borderline episode. This has caused many a therapist to diagnose borderline personality disorder (BPD) in many a client in the throes of a painful separation. The emotional volcano of abandonment is often misunderstood by the clinician as evidence of serious psychiatric disorder.
If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.
'It is only in the state of complete abandonment and loneliness that we experience the helpful powers of our own nature.' ~ CG Jung.
It’s a complaint we hear often from people looking for help for their marriages:“I feel distant from my spouse.” “I try to get my husband to open up, but instead he just shuts down.” “My wife just doesn’t seem interested in me anymore. I feel like we’re a million miles apart.” This is emotional abandonment. Instead of physically leaving the relationship, your spouse simply checks out emotionally. They stop investing in the marriage, leaving their spouse feeling detached and unwanted.