It seems as though I am using a lot of celebrities and that is because I feel as though they are all defining the term cool well enough for me. Now Selena Gomez always had a "basic" style, nothing too crazy. But now she is changing and that is COOL, she is testing out the waters to see what style really defines her and I truly admire that. We never know what type of style we exactly are until the time comes that we finally are happy with our look.
I'm pinning this in here. Mainly because I am doing my best to be less toxic. Due to my abandonment in my early life, and at times in my early 20's, I am prone to be needy with it being mostly emotional needs. I don't have a lot of physical contact with anyone (and when I say "physical" I really do mean touching, hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc.) and I think that it's very important to have on a daily basis.
I would add that it has been suggested by professionals in the field of mental health that people with BPD tend to be emotionally stunted - often around the age that a traumatic event may have occurred. So if a traumatic event occurred at the age of 3, would you call a 3 year old manipulative if they struggle with regulating emotions or have fear of abandonment etc?