It's been 4 years since you've seen her. You haven't paid child support like a real man would, you don't ask how she's doing. You abandoned her & neglecting her since you stopped showing up to court dates 4 years ago. Stop blaming your problems on everyone else. You & your wife are the reason you are in the situation you are in.
What is child support? Child support is a monthly financial payment by the non-physical custodial parent to the physical custodial parent towards their child's daily needs. Child support gives financial support for things such as the child's shelter, food, clothing, medical expenses, and educational costs. Child support laws guarantees that parents take financial accountability for their children, even after their marriage has ended.
Each parent is equally responsible for providing for the financial needs of his or her child. But the court cannot enforce this obligation until it makes an order for support. When parents separate, a parent must ask the court to make an order establishing parentage (paternity) and also ask the court to make an order for child support. http://www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp-support.htm