Abandonment creates an emotional crisis of such intensity and duration that it mimics a full blown borderline episode. This has caused many a therapist to diagnose borderline personality disorder (BPD) in many a client in the throes of a painful separation. The emotional volcano of abandonment is often misunderstood by the clinician as evidence of serious psychiatric disorder.
After my husband of 14 years abandoned us, we ended up in a homeless shelter. It was a rough and scary time, but we all came out on top. We're actually better off now in all capacities of the word than when he was still around. Here's our journey and how you can help a child through a loss or abandonment
If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.
Your adopted child will have many questions throughout his or her life surrounding their adoption, their biological family, your views on adoption, and abandonment issues to work through. Answering your child with love and grace as they pepper you with questions about their adoption will create a pathway of communication and vulnerability. Click through to read how I've answered my son's questions about adoption.